Saturday, September 20, 2008

Updated Status of the Husband Training School

Isaac recently installed an upgrade to the culinary arts division of his husband training school. Since the date of the last reporting, the dinner menu has expanded to include, not only spaghetti, but also sauteed chicken.

This boost in the dinner menu, however, is not without danger or cost.

So this evening Isaac set about the maiden preparation of his new entree by covering a cooking pan with canola oil. He put the lid on the pan and set it on the stove. He turned the stove on high. About a minute later, he returned to his pan and reduced the heat to medium. And about a minute after that, he returned to his pan, expecting to find sizzling canola oil.

Instead, he opened the pan lid and found burning canola oil flames. Big ones.

To avoid the end of burning his house down (and ruining the reputation of his one-of-a-kind school), Isaac quickly removed the pan from the stove and plopped it in the sink. The oil kept burning and so, instinctively, Isaac turned on the water faucet!

So, throwing water on burning oil doesn't turn out to be the best idea (or, actually, even a remotely good idea). Upon contact with the water, the flames leaped five feet into the air! Desperate, Isaac grabbed the pan and ran it outside where the oil eventually stopped burning.

The event was not without damage: the smoke alarms were triggered, the ceiling was blackened, Isaac's forearm hairs completely vanished, his eyebrows singed and his hands received some minor burns. All for the sake of a dinner upgrade for the culinary arts division of the husband training school!

When I talked to Isaac this evening, the conclusion to his story revealed that the heart of husband training school is not about domestic perfection. This school is really about understanding and sympathy. "And what if I had two little toddlers at home too?" Isaac asked, "Imagine how hard that would be!"

Yes, I guess that the work of domestic sympathy has taken place. If Isaac ever comes home to a wife and a burned ceiling and no dinner, he now knows to say, "Been there. Done that. I love you. Let's go buy pizza."

Isaac, you deserve a medal for effort! And I hope that you eventually got to eat dinner.